i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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