redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
