Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
