Yo dont text me then not text me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
