I just made out with a guy for $7.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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