look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
