yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
