Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
