haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
