I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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