I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
