Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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