yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize