Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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