My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
