i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
