i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
