It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
