My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
our cab driver is having phone sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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