So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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