I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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