I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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