It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
