i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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