I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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