This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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