she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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