At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
