you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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