we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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