So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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