Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize