She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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