the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
too bad you live with your parents still
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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