She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize