The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize