she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
