are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's always time for handjobs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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