He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
