Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
