He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
