you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
