it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
