Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
