who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
