Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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