So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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