You made me cry and you don't even care
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
