I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My feet surprised me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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