Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
nutella sex= disaster
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
