I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my shit smells like andre
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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