May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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