i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
