he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She's the barista slut.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
not ubering you a puppy
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
