whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
