i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
