your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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