Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
how drunk are you?
Several
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
