You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
