Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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