woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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