Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
zippers are such a cool invention
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
