he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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