If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
