He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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