somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
