Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
